Eco-Mothering

A Monster Lie

2012-01-23T10:01:00.001-05:00

I have never believed in monsters. As a child, I slept in my own room, door shut, in complete darkness. My sister Karen embodied all the fears: darkness, being alone and monsters hiding in her closet. Sofie has followed in her footsteps.

I thought we had bypassed the issue when at age three, Sofie’s only fear seemed to be Disney films. (I had never noticed before how evil characters and scary music lurked everywhere.) Now she can handle most kids’ movies but, once the sun sets, refuses to walk a dark hallway to go to the bathroom. If we are all downstairs watching TV, she will not go upstairs by herself, even if lights are on. The darkness surrounding the house is somehow too unsettling. And now monsters have recently appeared on the scene. Their apparent presence keeps her from entering her bedroom at night, much less sleeping there.

So, although I once promised myself I’d never do this, I told Sofie about Monster Spray.

Monster Spray was my mother’s invention. Mom had a small spray bottle of apple-scented air freshener she’d squirt in my sister’s bedroom at night. Somehow this eased Karen’s fears, and she slept better believing the spray kept her monsters at bay.

Sofie quickly latched onto this idea and asked me to buy some. I told her I’d pick up a bottle on my next trip to Target. Later on, I realized that would never work. My astute five-year-old would inevitably want to see the Monster Spray section the next time we were in Target together. So I had to deepen the lie. I told her Target no longer sells Monster Spray and the saleswoman suggested I buy it online. Two days later when Sofie came home from school, I showed her a bottle of spray that had “arrived in the mail” that day.

In reality, I purchased Air Scense from Whole Foods. If I was going to be spraying something in my daughter’s room every night, it wasn’t going to be laden with chemicals. Air Scense uses essential oils (I chose lavender for its sleep-inducing qualities), is not tested on animals, comes in a recyclable container and is even semi-local (Danbury, Connecticut). Then I used my graphic art skills to create and attach a Monster Spray label.

I held my breath as Sofie studied the label. The monster on it did not look like her monsters, she informed me. I assured her that was just the monster spokesperson and that the spray worked on all types of monsters. She seemed sold, but I was left to wonder about this web of untruths I was spinning for the “good” of my child.

Would it have been better to insist that monsters do not exist and that she should just get over her fears? What happens when she realizes that Mommy concocted a fake spray?

I also worried about the spray becoming a crutch, however that seems not to be the case. Instead, it has sparked Sofie’s imagination to create a friendly monster. This monster is blue and female and helps keep the mean monsters away and, sometimes, Sofie whispers to me, the friendly blue monster climbs into bed with her. Well, okay then.

While Monster Spray has comforted Sofie enough to begin each night in her own room, she does not remain there for long. And she won’t let me borrow her blue friend to scare away the Daddy-like blanket-stealing monster in my bed. But I no longer worry about addressing her problem with what I once viewed as a ridiculous pack of lies. Rather, I chose to enter my daughter’s world and meet her at her current level of beliefs. This, I think, reinforces the trust in our relationship. It says to her: “I believe you. Your feelings are valid. Let me help.”

Overall, it’s not very long that kids remain in this enchanted realm of imagination. All too soon we trade in our original stories for tired television plotlines and celebrity drama. So why not believe in monsters, friendly or otherwise, for as long as it lasts?

And if you decide to invest in some (Air Scense) Monster Spray, I can send you a label for $1 apiece. Contact me for details.

Trashy Gifts

2012-01-18T09:00:00.003-05:00

For my sister’s 30th birthday this month, I am sending her a package of 30 gifts, which I will not reveal here in case she is reading this blog. (J, you better be reading my blog!) I will say that planning the gift was fun. However, the most creative part of the process ended up being the wrapping.

I wanted each item wrapped separately to prolong the joy and suspense of opening, but I felt guilty about using so much paper. According to the EPA, holiday waste, including giftwrap, contributes to a 25% spike in curbside trash volume between Thanksgiving and New Year’s. Then I remembered a recent Christmas present from a friend: candles wrapped inside colorful cloth napkins. The idea inspired me to new heights. What could I find around the house that might jut be tossed in the trash otherwise?

A quick search in the recycle bin offered up newspaper and a grocery circular. A good start. I enlisted Sofie’s help with ideas (tissues! napkins! washcloths!) and the concept of recycling materials as giftwrap grew. So when my sister opens her birthday package, she will find a collection of items wrapped with the following materials:

•    Graph paper from an old budget sheet
•    Tissue paper
•    Fabric scraps
•    Sheets of white, foam-like packaging material
•    Rubberbands (from heads of broccoli)
•    Plastic shopping bag
•    Reusable gift bag
•    Brown paper bag
•    Scott toilet paper packaging (this ought to get a laugh)
•    Plain box
•    Hemp twine
•    100% recycled gift wrap from World Wildlife Fund
•    Magazine pages
•    Bubble wrap

Sofie drew the line at using her school paintings as wrapping, but she did select one of them to crop and frame as a gift. Part of the fun was getting specific in regard to my sister’s interests. For example, using a newspaper section with a baseball article and a magazine page depicting an exotic travel location.

I don’t usually enjoy wrapping gifts, but recycled materials introduced a fun element, turning the chore into a game. If I had done my research before buying the 30 gifts, I would have discovered furoshiki, which is the Japanese art of fabric giftwrap. The joy of furoshiki is that the wrapping becomes part of the present.

Now if I can just figure out how to convince Sofie that Santa’s elves also use toilet paper and magazines at Christmas…

My Year of Abundance

2012-01-10T14:09:00.002-05:00

Being green is often associated with using less and doing without. To prove that does not have to be the case — and in lieu of typical New Year’s resolutions — I’ve decided 2012 is going to be my Year of Abundance. To provide some focus, I’m breaking it down by month.

January – I’m kicking the year off right with an abundance of CREATIVITY, something completely green. Creative writing is always in high demand. Thankfully, I’ve got lots of stories, characters and blog ideas flowing through my head. This month I’m going to get as many of them as I can down on paper AND continue sending them out for publication. But creativity is not just for writing. Oh no. I’m also going to focus on accessing creative income sources because two months out of “40-hour-week cubicle world” has me certain that I’m never going back. Creativity also comes into play as a parent, such as when I need to give Sofie a reason why Mommy gets two cookies while she gets only one…
February – With 2012 being a leap year, February has an extra day — the perfect opportunity for an abundance of FUN. There never seemed to be quite enough fun in my house growing up, so naturally I want differently for my daughter. We’ll plan out the month with special excursions and a “play hooky” day. We’ll find amusing ways to be eco, including: (1) a contest over which family member can create the least amount of waste; (2) a playdate invitation to Barbie’s eco-fashion show; and (3) neighborhood walks practicing random acts of greenness. And on February 29, I intend to do something fun I would normally never do (something that is, quite possibly, not at all eco-friendly). Some examples: test drive a Hummer; sleep the entire day; eat only orange foods; go on a shopping spree of highly packaged, non-biodegradable products; have a 24-hour fling with George Clooney. Hmmm… I wonder which ranks top on my list.
March – As my husband’s relatives flock to New Jersey for the first anniversary of his father’s death, I plan to focus on the abundance of FAMILY. Loving the ones that are still here with us instead of reiterating those “why” questions. Sofie does this easily. I find it challenging, as I can find fault with every family member. So I will try to view them through the eyes of a five-year-old … as tickle monsters, harbingers of love and potential providers of treats. On the eco side of things, we may help Mike’s mom clean and green the house to get it ready for sale. This will include pulling up 30-year-old carpets, de-molding the basement and other exciting tasks. Thank goodness I enjoyed all that fun back in February.
April – The advent of spring always brings the abundance of ENERGY. Longer days! Warmer weather! I am going to use that excess energy to focus on our vegetable garden. Last year I didn’t care enough to figure out who was munching on my basil or why my peppers didn’t bloom until Labor Day. This year I promise to investigate these issues so that our family may receive an abundance of homegrown produce all summer long. April is also the month of Earth Day, which Sofie and I will celebrate by participating in a bounty of community cleanups.
May – Ah, the month I’ve been waiting for. My husband and I have planned our long-awaited anniversary trip to Italy, so May is undoubtedly the month of abundance in FOOD and DRINK. Local food and drink, to be sure. Fine olive oil, cheeses, risotto and fish from Lake Como. In the Cinque Terre: basil pesto, ravioli, sweet white wine and miele di Corniglia or gelato made from honey. We plan to spend our time in Italy’s smaller towns for the purpose of experiencing that cultural slice of life: meeting the locals, hearing their stories and sampling the homemade grappa.
June – I expect this month to be filled with an abundance of ADVENTURE PARENTING. After my sister gives birth to her second child, I hope to spend some time in Maryland with her and my brother-in-law. Working together, I am sure we will be able to handle three kids under the age of six without resorting to television or sugary snacks. For them, at least. And as I have recently opened the door to the possibility of a second child, this visit will likely be a determining factor in that decision. At home, it will be time to indulge in camping adventures to maintain Sofie’s outdoor enthusiasm, which reached new heights last year.
July – As this month is scheduled with annual doctor appointments, July will be about the abundance of HEALTH. There is nothing worse than being out of balance with your body. I expect to be a shining example of physical and mental vigor due to a regimen of zumba, yoga, positive thinking and daily cups of green tea. (Plus, I’ll have had a month to lose the weight gained from my Italy trip.) If all goes according to plan, I will be enjoying organic produce from my own garden as well as frequent CSA visits to our local farmer.
August – Between my 40^th birthday and a Maine vacation, this month will celebrate an abundance of FRIENDS. I am envisioning a fabulous outdoor party filled with friends from every state I’ve lived in. There is nothing whatsoever eco-friendly about this — unless I buy carbon offsets for my air travel friends. However, I’ll make up for it at the end of August when we take off for a rustic, lakeside cabin in Maine. It’s sure to be a back-to-nature experience that instills strong bonds between us and another family. Particularly after a week of no television, no email and shared resources, such as one bathroom for six people.
September – This month I will celebrate the abundance of MONEY that is rolling in! All those creative income sources I envisioned back in January and my nonstop, inspired writing will be bringing in the dollars. This means we can afford to send Sofie to kindergarten at the Gordon School, which we respect for its child-centered curriculum, its multicultural education and its roots as an Open Air School. She’s nervous about going to a new place, but — judging from the friends she made after a mere two-hour visit there — I remain confident that she will do well with the transition.
October – My favorite month brings an abundance of LOVE. I love the russet colors, woodsy smells and perfect temperatures. I love the fresh, red fries from Schartner Farms. I love picking crisp apples and brightly colored mums. I love baseball playoffs mixed with Sunday football. My daughter’s October birthday makes her joyous and giggly most of the month, which spreads through the rest of the family like wildfire until we are just one, disgustingly happy, love-bursting trio.
November – In preparation for the busy holiday season, I want an abundance of PEACE this month. Quiet weekends by the fire. Brisk nighttime walks. Time in the kitchen cooking soups and warm grains. I will carve out moments of solitude to rejuvenate my soul. And I will model this for Sofie who hops from one social activity to the next until she’s irritable because she didn’t allow time for simply breathing.
December – As usual, the holiday season will bring an abundance of JOY and GIVING. This year’s financial abundance will allow me to really treat the ones I love. I’ve often pondered an eco-tourist trip to Costa Rica, haven of sustainability. Such an experience would likely be a better gift than piles of plastic stuff. Also this month, we’ll host our 2^nd Annual Winter Solstice party. As you may have heard, the 2012 Winter Solstice signifies the end of the Mayan calendar and an exciting paradigm shift into the Age of Aquarius, an entirely new era of abundance.

The Way of the Elephant

2012-01-03T12:30:00.003-05:00

I am glad the holidays are over. I love my family, but after so many vacation days together, my patience plummeted and my snappishness swelled. I paced the house like an animal caged with two other animals, neither of who could consistently please me. My darling offspring especially was given to constant bursts of anger. We were butting heads over every little thing.

On New Year’s Day, I made my escape…to visit my African elephant friends at the zoo.

My soul is often nourished in the presence of other animals, particularly those too large to fit in your house. They help remind me of the pettiness of my problems and the expansiveness of our planet.

Sunday’s weather was unseasonably warm so all three elephants were outside in their yard. Two of them (Ginny and Kate) were pressing against each other head to head, engaging in some sort of play. Like a graceful dance, they would move toward one another, tangle trunks, back away and press heads together again.

While I enjoyed observing this unusual activity, I desired a closer visit. So I decided to try some telepathic communication with Ginny. Focusing my mind is a meditation practice I’ve been working on, and this seemed like a good exercise.

Feeling like an elephant whisperer, I channeled my thoughts toward Ginny for several minutes, urging her to come over. Almost like a dream, the gentle giant turned her head, blinked her big brown eyes and lumbered in my direction. I’d love to say that the elephant flew to my side, but she actually stopped halfway across the yard to munch on hay for a while. Eventually, she walked all the way to the fence — directly in front of me.

I felt overwhelmed by the magic of it all. Ginny peered at me beneath long lashes and wiggled her trunk through the bars in search of food.

Soaking in her energy, I studied the deliberate way she moved: sniffing out hay with her trunk, bringing it to her mouth and chewing slowly. Over and over, this methodical process of eating, which was likely how she spent a good portion of her day. Yet she did not seem bored. She was not in a rush to move on to something else. She just swished her tail while she ate and basked in the golden sunshine.

As I had hoped, the animal’s presence nourished me. My connection to a larger species – this one actually caged – reminded me how good I have it. All seemed right with the world.

Back at home, I felt expansive. I didn’t rush to do something. Instead, I sat on the sun-soaked living room couch until Sofie climbed up next to me with a smile. We read books, ate snacks and cuddled. And when she blew up about something later on, I didn’t let it trigger my anger. I remained calm and steadfast, allowing my daughter to express her feelings and responding with love. With no opponent, her anger diffused rapidly.

Without knowing it, Ginny imparted to me some lessons on parenting:

Like the elephant: Make the mother-child bond the highest priority.
Like the elephant: Temper immense strength with enormous gentleness.
Like the elephant: Work together to make decisions for the good of the herd.
Like the elephant: Move slowly, consciously, from one thing to the next.
Like the elephant: Play, eat and bask in the golden sunshine.

A Twist on Some Holiday Carols

2011-12-23T09:32:00.002-05:00

Deck the Earth 

Deck the earth with love this season, 
Fa la la la la, la la la la. 
Sustainability is the reason, 
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Don we now fair trade apparel, 
Fa la la, la la la, la la la. 
Wind has no cost per barrel,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

See the rising sea before us, 
Fa la la la la, la la la la. 
Bears and seals and whales implore us, 
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Give the gift of carbon offset, 
Fa la la la la, la la la la. 
And think twice before you toss it, 
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Let It Grow 

Oh, food ingredients can be frightful 
But growing your own is so delightful 
So get yourself some land to sow 
Let it grow! Let it grow! Let it grow!

Monsanto won’t show signs of stopping
Buy locally grown when you’re shopping
Then grab a shovel and a hoe
Let it grow! Let it grow! Let it grow!

When kids use fats and sugar as fuel
How we hate their subsequent mood 
But if you support Farm to School
They’ll smile from such healthy food!

Consumers can keep farms from dying 
Community gardens are worth trying
And stay away from those GMOs
Let it grow! Let it grow! Let it grow!

Happy Holidays to all my wonderful readers!

The Healthiest Milk Is Also the Greenest

2011-12-20T12:27:00.003-05:00

Today I am proud of my state. As of last month, Rhode Island is the first in the nation to end the practice of giving free formula to new mothers in the hospital. The purpose is to promote breastfeeding, which studies show is far healthier for moms and babies. It’s also one of the most eco-friendly choices I can imagine. A sweet, warm beverage chock full of vitamins that requires no wasteful packaging or oil to transport, and it’s completely free!

I was gung-ho from the first moment of my pregnancy. My mantra: “A drug-free natural birth and breastfeeding all the way!” The reality: Fibroids prevented me from using the ABC (alternative birth care) hospital room, and three hours into labor, I was begging for all sorts of drugs. But I was still determined to never open a can of formula. Some of that was financially motivated. We were on a budget; why buy something that I manufactured for free? But mostly it was sheer stubbornness toward a lifestyle choice that I wholeheartedly supported.

Then my newborn daughter started to nurse, and the pain was excruciating. I was sure she’d been born with teeth! The coordination required to align this engorged basketball with her puny mouth eluded me. And Sofie was a hungry one. She clamped down for dear life. The pain made me long to be in labor again. At least labor was a one-time thing. Breastfeeding reoccurred every 2-3 hours for a thirty-minute period. That’s searing pain twelve times a day.

“If it’s painful, you’re doing it wrong,” the nurses informed me. I already knew that; my swollen and bruised left breast looked like it had been on the losing end of a dogfight. So I went to a lactation class for help. Amid a group of anxious new moms I was bombarded with information about the football hold versus the cradle hold; how to open baby’s mouth wider and how to position myself with pillows to attain some level of comfort. Various nurses manhandled my breasts to demonstrate the process. I thought I was catching on. Sofie latched on a few times without pain. Apparently, she was just showing off for the class.

We arrived home from the hospital and fell right back to square one. Sofie clamped on painfully. I cried. My husband hovered, rearranging pillows in search of the perfect position. My daughter screamed in hunger as I kept removing her latch to find comfort. I began to dread feeding her, but I still refused to buy formula. Women had been breastfeeding since the beginning of time! It was nature’s medicine. It had to be easier than this.

Fortunately, Women and Infants Hospital offered a private lactation consultant, and my insurance covered it. Less than a week after Sofie’s birth, we returned to the hospital. An encouraging, gentle nurse guided me through my despair. She patiently took me through the steps again, offering some new tips, and my desperation melted away. During that session, something clicked for both of us; Sofie began to consistently latch on pain-free. It wasn’t much longer until I began to feel those soothing hormonal sensations associated with breastfeeding.

As Sofie grew, we nursed any time, any place. It was easy with an unlimited supply and no landfill-clogging accessories to worry about. I pumped regularly so that my husband could sometimes feed her. She never enjoyed it as much as the breast, but it did provide a break for me and offered father-daughter bonding.

Once Sofie incorporated solid foods and cow milk into her diet, we still nursed frequently. To reconnect after a day apart. To fall asleep peacefully. To comfort her through boo-boos, vaccinations or tantrums. Breastfeeding was the panacea. It just seemed the natural thing to do.

While I experienced a rocky start, determination paid off. I enjoyed three beautiful years of breastfeeding, which I believe laid the groundwork for a deep bond with my daughter. The way she gazed at me with wonder and love as she nursed is a look engraved on my heart. As the sole source of nourishment for the first six months of my daughter’s life, I felt the momentousness of my role. It was my milk that surged through her little body, building muscles and bones, developing brain connections, warding off disease (she was sick just once in her first year). The thought still amazes me.

So I applaud Rhode Island hospitals for saying “no more free formula.” It’s an important step in a global effort to encourage the value and bliss of breastfeeding.

Benefits of Breastfeeding: 

Establishes bonding. Skin-to-skin contact boosts oxytocin levels and promotes bonding between mother and baby. This unique interaction gives baby his first sensations of love and security.
Nutritionally superior to formula. Breast milk contains all the nutrients and antibodies your baby needs, adjusting as she grows. Breast milk is easier to digest, safeguards against food allergies, promotes proper jaw development and encourages normal weight gain for baby (as well as quicker weight loss for mom).
Fights Disease. The hormones and antibodies in breast milk protect baby against infection and illness. It can also reduce the risk of SIDS, leukemia and Type 1 diabetes. For the mother, breastfeeding decreases the risk of breast cancer, ovarian cancer and osteoporosis.
Higher IQ. The nutrients in breast milk enhance baby’s brain development.
Savings of time, money and the earth. A mother’s supply of breast milk is unlimited and free. There is no trash and plastic waste adding to the landfills.

Want to Learn More?
http://www.llli.org/nb/nbbenefits.html
http://www.nrdc.org/breastmilk/benefits.asp
http://www.womenshealth.gov/breastfeeding/

Finding Balance

2011-12-12T09:11:00.002-05:00

I’ve been working on an article introducing teens to feng shui. As a longtime follower, I know a lot about the ancient Chinese art. Yet, in doing research for the article, I am reminded that my latest household arrangements have not consciously incorporated feng shui practices.

In fact, as I cast an eye around the place, I am confronted with a number of feng shui faux pas: Sofie’s messy bedroom is probably contributing to her recent bout of sleep problems; the sharp corner of my dresser is a poison arrow shooting me in my sleep; creaky door hinges are likely keeping money away and — OMG! What’s that plant doing in my heath corner? It has prickly leaves, for crying out loud! I didn’t pay attention when I received the plant; I am really off my game.

My problem now is that the feng shui-focused part of me is butting heads with the ecologically-minded part of me. Take these examples:

Feng Shui Me wants to turn the heat up so that I can work from home surrounded by good chi and not resort to wearing gloves while typing. Eco Me tells me to put on another sweater and to think about the devastating effects our careless use of oil has on the earth.

Feng Shi Me orders lucky talismans from an online feng shui marketplace. Eco Me scorns the excess packaging and the undoubtedly toxic chemicals that give these objects their glossy sheen.

Feng Shui Me says, “Get rid of all this clutter. Out the old, in with the new!” Eco Me says, “What?! And add to the landfill? You’d better keep that stuff. You never know when that wickless, melted candle or broken towel bar could be repurposed.” To which Feng Shui Me replies, “Repurpose THIS!”

And, well, it gets pretty ugly from there. Sometimes the conflict sends me reaching for my aromatherapy oils (placed auspiciously in the health corner) or a large glass of wine (the eco-savvy boxed kind).

Deep within all this I think there is a lesson. And it’s not about following the specific rules of feng shui or being ecologically nitpicky. It’s about balance. That is what those battling parts of me are really seeking. Feng shui is, after all, about balancing the energy of a space. Being green is about putting back what I take from the earth.

This balance also applies to parenting — at least, this was my personal thunderbolt midway through this blog. Lately, Sofie and I have been in much conflict whether it’s about finishing her dinner, hurrying up so we can move to my schedule or arguing yet again about the effectiveness of pants versus really warm tights in this winter weather.

I see now (with some gentle prodding from my husband) that I’ve been in dominating mother mode, pushing Sofie toward certain rules that make me feel good and expressing my concerns through overbearing statements. The misbalance we’ve been experiencing is due to me not giving my daughter a chance to comfortably exert herself: her needs and her preferences. And of course I want her to grow up believing that those things matter.

So I am yet again humbled as a parent. And I begin this week determined to strike that balance in our relationship. Messy bedroom be damned.

Om Yoga

2011-12-07T09:02:00.002-05:00

It seems my daughter may trade in her ballet shoes for a yoga mat, which has taken me by pleasant surprise.

When we registered Sofie for ballet lessons in September, it was the culmination of fourteen months of a growing interest in ballet. “Mommy, I want to be a ballerina for Halloween.” “Mommy, can I watch Angelina Ballerina again?“ “Mom, I want to learn ballet.” And, always while I am in the middle of making dinner, “Mom, watch me do an arabesque!”

So we signed her up. She adored the leotards and shimmery skirts, the pale pink shoes, the dance accessories. She found a friend to attend class with her. And when she stepped cautiously across the threshold, the instructor firmly shut the door. I was left to squint through dusty blinds that covered the studio’s single window, hoping for a glimpse of my daughter. The claustrophobic waiting area smelled distinctly of sweaty feet and cats.

A few times Sofie exited her class in tears (“Mommy, it was too hot and crowded in there.” “Mommy, I want to go home.”) Other times, she chattered happily about first position or the trampoline that came out when the girls were overly energetic. It’s the tears I remember, though. And the fact that I was unable to watch, so I had no idea how to encourage her in the week between lessons. Still, my daughter remained committed.

Until her first recital. Sofie waited chilled and hungry on a corner of the makeshift stage for an hour while much older girls executed robotic routines and preschoolers chewed on their tutus. When her group finally performed, they sang and moved around to Christmas songs with nary a ballet position in sight.

The next day Sofie attended a friend’s birthday party at a yoga studio. Yoga is not new to her. She has been participating at school for a few years and occasionally comes home eager to show me a new pose. This was my first chance to watch. She was very engaged; she radiated joy and calm. Other parents commented on her comfort level.

The difference in the studio was night and day. The light and airy yoga space smelled of strawberries and fresh laundry. It had ample, comfortable seating for parents. I might have curled up on the squishy satin pillows with a good book.

The instructor impressed me by engaging 15 four- and five-year-olds for an extended period. She geared the yoga to their age range by incorporating animal puppets and zippy music. The session ended with my favorite savasana, a period of relaxation where the kids lay down with a blanket and received a mini foot massage in their choice of chocolate or banana lotion.

Later that day, my nap-less yet still amiable daughter said to me, “Can I do yoga instead of ballet?” As my husband and I have done yoga with some regularity for years, I warmed quickly to the idea.

Whatever her final choice is, I want Sofie to have a physical outlet for the intense feelings that overwhelm her at this age. I love that the yoga instructor demonstrated poses (such as lion and lemon face) that kids could do to release pent-up aggression and energy.

On the eco side of things, the yoga studio resides in the same revitalized mill as the winter farmer’s market, making this a two-for-one Saturday trip. We’ll drop Sofie at class and wander through the halls filling our reusable bags with crisp apples, purple cauliflower and pungent onions before returning to pick up our flexible and grounded five-year-old.

Call of the Wild Goddess

2011-11-30T09:38:00.005-05:00

Young daughters of the oceans and forests,
Celebrate in Artemisian glory:

Chase one another through moonbeam meadows
Dress up in mountain shadows
Invite strange animals to tea.

Feast with your  
Sisters on fierce adventures and  
Dance into untempered dreams.

Then, turn up the volume.

Become schooled in sacred sleepovers where virginal
Nymphs develop powerful claws and  
Giggles grow into roars.

Carve out private spaces  
Adorn yourself with silver daring 
Know your perfect flesh.

Then, turn up the volume.

Shoot arrows at patriarchy and injustice 
Employ feminist contradictions 
Make love to yourself.

Invest in wild spaces  
Lead women and children in Olympian revolution  
Blaze a trail of earthly delights and always 
Refuse to be tamed.

Whether maiden or mother,  
You are the Dianic goddess —  
She who hunts and heals, kills and  
Births, avenges and protects. 
She who transforms her obstacles and  
Tosses them up to  
Become stars in the sky.

This is an entry for the Mookychick blogging competition, FEMINIST FLASH FICTION 2011. Enter now.

Letter to My Daughter

2011-11-29T12:42:00.007-05:00

We are back home after spending Thanksgiving week with our families. It was tough this year, the first holiday season since Mike’s father died. In his house, there was still much grief and despair over things said or left unsaid. Inspired by that and by another blogger’s suggestion to write a letter to your loved ones, here is my letter to my daughter.

Dear Sofie,

If I die tomorrow, I want you to know:

Yes, it is true that we came up with your name after watching The DaVinci Code. The character named Sophie represented the Sacred Feminine. We just changed the spelling to Sofie to more literally reflect that.
I’ve always loved being outside. The earth restores me, and I’ve tried to restore the earth so that you may enjoy it too.
I think you are way smarter than either me or Daddy. Unfortunately, this will cause you a lifetime of distress, as the world is full of stupid people.
My favorite number is 8. My favorite color is teal. Picking favorites is fun.
As a child, I was shy and lacked confidence. Thankfully, you have not taken after me in that department… although your lack of patience has “mom” stamped all over it.
I always wanted to be the voiceover for a Sesame Street muppet.
When you were two, an Asian waitress told us that we should protect the frontal part of your brain because you’d exhibit some special power at age 5. Even if she was a complete crackpot, know that inside you have all the special powers you’ll ever need.
I will never stop wanting to kiss your cheeks or smell your head.
I have always been passionate about writing, and I hope you don’t wait as long as I did to pursue your passions.
Dave Letterman and Dave Barry always made me laugh. Try to make friends with people named Dave.
I love that you still sleep in our room.
I know you’re on the fence about Santa Claus. Believe whatever you want so long as you realize the true meaning of the holidays is family and giving.
(And try to be eco-conscious about all those plastic decorations and giftwrap.)
My side of the family suffers from depression and anxiety. Don’t be afraid to seek help if you ever feel that way yourself.
I always knew a book or movie was really good if it made me cry.
When cleaning out my stuff, you’ll find boxes of unfinished stories and stacks of journals. Regarding the stories, feel free to sell any ideas that appear marketable. Regarding the journals, burn them. (And don’t let Daddy read them.) They contain only crazy rantings born of depression and anxiety.
I married Daddy for his sense of humor and for the solid foundation of friendship we had built. So — if you marry — marry a friend who makes you laugh.
After you were born, I really started taking care of my health — regular exercise and check-ups, eating good foods — because I finally realized that what I put into my body affected what came out. That’s why we made you eat whole grains and vegetables.
I love that you are a book lover like me. Keep reading.
I was terrible at learning languages and musical instruments. Hopefully, you will fare better. Capiche?
If the Philadelphia Eagles ever win the Superbowl, I will come back for the celebration.
If you ever join the military, I will come back to haunt you.
It’s time you faced the truth about Barbie: she has fake hair, plastic skin and an empty head. You are so much cooler than Barbie could ever be.
I don’t believe in heaven, but I do believe my soul continues to live and that you can connect to me anytime you need to.
I want a big party every year on the anniversary of my death. Invite everyone you know. But please make sure Daddy doesn’t play show tunes.
We stopped after one kid because we didn’t think they could come any better than you.

I love you, Sofie, with every fiber of my being. You amazed me every day, and I am honored to have been a part of your life.

Love,

Mommy

Got Fresh, Local Milk?

2011-02-25T09:05:00.000-05:00

Fresh milk delivery to your home is such a quaint concept to me (reminiscent of a tune-filled Doris Day scene from Send Me No Flowers). Of the four states I've lived in, Rhode Island is the only one in which I discovered this nostalgic concept to actually be a thriving business. And while I have not been a part of it, last week I came home to find two bottles of milk on our front doorstep.

I immediately assumed the delivery was intended for a neighbor, but I was wrong. The handwritten note attached to the glass bottles had my name on it. I'm not sure how he found me, but Steve the Milkman wanted me to try some free samples. Awesome! We are a milk-consuming household — this was going to save us a few bucks and an extra trip to the grocery store.

The milk (even the low-fat one) tasted creamy and smooth. Score. The reusable glass bottles do not corrupt the milk with any odor or taste of their own, and — I'll say it again — they're reusable. I left them on the doorstep this morning for Steve to pick up. The milk is local (Connecticut family-owned farms) and fresh — from cow to us in 48 hours or less, which I found impressive. I'm pretty sure I've never had milk that fresh before. What a difference in taste! My husband has been gulping it down, which is a good thing since the milk only lasts about eight days.

But was it free of that genetically-engineered bovine growth hormone (rBGH)? With a hormonally-affected daughter (who I do not want to enter puberty before the age of 12), that is my main concern. There was nothing on the bottle about this issue. Their website states that the milk "contains no artificial hormones or antibiotics ... is not adulterated with additives, stabilizer, or synthetics. Our milk is also not ultra-pasteurized." It doesn't specifically say "no rBGH," although since there doesn't seem to be any set milk labeling standards in Rhode Island yet, it's hard to test the validity of any "hormone-free" milk.

However, I don't want this to be a blog about the debatable hazards of rBGH and why, yet again, Europe is ahead of America in banning potentially harmful products. I merely wanted to champion a company committed to supporting local business and reducing the distance from farm to belly.

In addition to milk, Munroe Dairy also carries cheese, eggs, produce and grass-fed beef and poultry. I'm thrilled that this exists as a viable option in my state. Unfortunately, it is not yet a viable option for my family budget. *sigh* But thank you, Steve the Milkman, for introducing my family to fresh, home delivered and local milk.

Here's a list of rBGH and rBST- free processors.

A Green Valentine

2011-02-11T08:32:00.000-05:00

This Valentine’s Day I send out a plea

To celebrate the holiday ecologically,

Showing love not only for your Jonathan or Janet
But for the finite resources of this planet.

The one billion cards mailed each year

Require far too many trees, I fear;

Why not opt for tree-free paper, e-cards or a text?

Even a Valentine Tweet would leave the forests less vexed.

When it comes to chocolate, look for Fair Trade
Ensuring that the workers were not underpaid;

Shop around for an organic or natively grown flower

Since those “fresh” red roses come imported in a pesticide shower.

And if you take your loved one out to dine

Choose local food and organic wine;

Don’t knock it until you try it

This carbon-reducing, sustainable diet;

Whether you prefer your meals baked, broiled or fried

In Rhode Island, head for a place that is Green Certified.

Now when it comes to jewelry
Enough with the tomfoolery!

Each year thousands of habitat acres are lost

Mining minerals and gems at great human cost;

You can buy earth-friendly jewelry made of shells or recycled glass

And ignore that marketing ploy equating diamonds to a love that lasts.

Around the world, Valentine’s Day is quite a big business

But you can make choices as an informed consumerist

For what message do we want our kids to receive?

And what do our actions lead them to believe?

I wish that everyone across the nation

Could have a Grinch-like realization

That Valentine’s Day is more than candy and roses

Or the exact romantic way that he proposes;

True love needn’t cause the earth such harm

Giving green has its own kind of charm.

Talking About Organic

2011-02-02T16:07:00.000-05:00

In the grocery store the other day, a woman was food shopping with her two granddaughters. When she tossed a box of macaroni and cheese into their cart, the older girl - not more than seven years old — piped up: "Is it organic?" The grandmother looked a bit taken aback but was eventually able to find her way to the Annie's organic mac n' cheese, a box the girl recognized and was satisfied with.

Myself, I was impressed with the girl's request. I wanted to ask her if she knew what "organic" meant and why it was better for her or if she was just mimicking the word from her parents. Still, I liked the fact that she used the word and exhibited a preference for organic macaroni - it certainly wasn't a word I knew at age seven.

These days, we try to buy as much organic food as our budget allows, although I'm not sure I've done a good job of conveying that to Sofie. Should she know that we try to buy organic with the "dirty dozen" - the top twelve pesticide-laden fruits and veggies? Should I tell her that a non-organic apple can be sprayed up to 16 times with 36 different chemicals, many of which cannot be easily washed off? Sofie loves fruit, but I'd be curious to know whether she even tastes a difference between the dull multicolored apple or the waxy red one.

We joined a CSA last season, and Sofie enjoyed our weekly trip to the farmer's market to select fresh food, but I'm not sure she understood the difference or why we were doing it. Actions do speak louder than words, and maybe that is enough for now. Or maybe this year, I can engage the farmer in conversation about the food and that will be enough to stir some natural curiosity in my daughter.

I must admit, however, that my motivation may be this ideal vision I now have of Sofie shopping with my mother and insisting upon organic produce.

Connecting Moms

2011-01-26T09:24:00.000-05:00

I just came across this magazine called Kiwi, touted for "Growing families the natural and organic way." My first impression of it was fairly good - seems sort of like Parents magazine with an eco-edge. We definitely need more green-focused magazines for families (my favorite had always been Mothering).

But what I really like is their ad that led me to discovering the Green Mom Ambassador -- it's a part of Moms Meet, which is an online resource for moms who care about raising healthy families and living green.

The site encourages you to create a local group of like-minded moms who meet regularly, and it provides ideas for discussion topics as well as articles and green tips. You can also decide to train to become a Green Mom Ambassador, which means you lead topic discussions, try green products and provide feedback. Current samples include organic foods and tea, homeopathic medicines and baby food. I'm going to check this out further, and I wanted to get the word out!

Ew! A Bug!

2011-01-21T15:04:00.000-05:00

When it comes to bugs, Sofie's usual response has been: "Ew! A bug - kill it!" I don't know if this is a typical little girl thing or if I have gone wrong somewhere in teaching her respect for all nature.

But this past week she has been excited about bugs. And I have a Mrs. Spider video rented from the library to thank for that. She now even has a favorite bug - the jewel beetle, because it's pretty, of course. I told her that I've always been partial to spiders ever since my childhood when I read "Be Nice to Spiders." That and the fact that they eat all the more annoying bugs like flies and mosquitoes makes them aces in my book. I don't know how accurate this statement is, but it does command some admiration for these eight-legged creatures: If spiders didn't exist we'd have to invent them; the mass of insects eaten by British spiders alone outweighs the UK's human population.

After a week of Sofie relating bug stories and facts at the breakfast table (yuck, i know), she has settled upon this: bugs are okay outside, but not in the house. Once they cross the threshold, she is set upon their demise. But perhaps we can work on saying "yes" to bugs in our garden this spring - learning which ones are beneficial for plant growth and keeping other pests away. The ecological benefits of bugs are plenty, although I am not sure I'll ever be ready to substitute them for cows.

And I've since discovered that my daughter's "kill them" attitude is largely developmental — apparently, four-year-olds are fascinated with violence, and this is completely normal. It also explains why many of Sofie's stories and Barbie dramas currently include burning, exploding and chopping. It will be a year or two still before she accesses empathy and sensitivity. In the meantime, I may read her that spider book.

The Recycled Dollhouse

2011-01-14T11:44:00.001-05:00

This photo shows a portion of the dollhouse my mother made for my sister and I when we were little. Built from cardboard boxes, the house was filled with wallpaper remnants, beds fashioned from old spaghetti boxes, curtains sewn from leftover fabrics, crocheted rugs and plenty of ingenuity. We loved our dollhouse then for its large size (Barbie's Dreamhouse never had so many rooms) and personalized touches. Only now do I admire it for it's eco-friendliness, the recycling of old materials in this labor of love.

I Sofie started off with a little wooden dollhouse and a wooden doll family, but she's since transitioned into the world of Barbie-size dolls that need a home of their own. First, I perused craigslist for options but balked at the prices for today's Dreamhouse. They were so plastic, so plain, so pink. I was inspired to do better.

So in the tradition of my family, I have begun to build Sofie a Barbie-sized house from cardboard boxes. It's not nearly as large as mine was, although I've incorporated her wooden dollhouse into the layout so doll families big and small can coexist (reducing that carbon footprint!), but Sofie's quite excited about it, and all I've done so far is to carve some windows into a few boxes. Meanwhile, I'm gathering bits of old fabric, saving boxes from various food items and dipping into our collection of leftover no-VOC paints. Other ideas: making wall art from some of Sofie's artwork; adding on a stable for her horses; and maybe even some "solar panels"...

It is still a bunch of cardboard boxes - no amount of paint and cloth will disguise that, but I'm having fun with the process of creating something for my daughter instead of buying it ready-made off the shelf. I think this is something we'll both remember more, as my sister and I do with our childhood house.

And the idea of re-use must be catching on, because Sofie will find a discarded item in the recycling bin or trash and say, "Mommy, can't we use this for my dollhouse?"

My Anti-Green Holiday Vacation

2011-01-07T09:22:00.000-05:00

Happy new year everyone! Sorry I've been away so long. (Save The Bay's communications world keeps me very busy.) But I am attempting to commit to blogging weekly in 2011. And I'll begin by confessing that my family has just returned from a holiday trip to Disney World. It's like the anti-green vacation, but I felt obligated to go — my in-laws were paying and Sofie's princess-obsessed eyes lit up at the notion of seeing Cinderella's Castle. How could I refuse?

There's nothing quite like the Magic Kingdom in the week between Christmas and New Year's when hordes of families descend upon the resort and your day is marked by how many two-hour-long lines you've waited in just to enjoy a 60-second ride. I'm typically not a fan of crowds, and it definitely makes me grumpy when the crowds are composed of tired, whiny children and parents with glazed expressions, stumbling through a the "vacation of a lifetime."And what is this vacation really but a series of rides contrived to simulate outer space, the Wild West or a jungle with its plastic elephants and scary stereotypes of tribal communities?

When riding "It's a Small World" I couldn't help but wonder: how much energy goes into maintaining such an attraction? The electricity, the water, the amount of nonrecyclable materials used in production is probably astounding. It was this excess of resources that bothered me most on the trip.

Sofie loved every minute of her experience (you wouldn't know it from her face in most of our photos), but I worried about the messages Disney sends to these impressionable kids.

I will give Walt some credit. His original plan for Disney World included dedicating one-third of the park property to conservation habitat, which today adds up to 10,000 acres of conservation area including research to aid sea turtles, elephants and the cotton-top tamarin. Disney is trying to give themselves a greener image by sponsoring green challenges for kids. Is it a sincere start or is it a distraction? Apparently, the corporation does have some green goals toward net zero waste.

I know I sound like such a downer, but I didn't let my inner bitterness ruin Sofie's time. I gave her space to meet the princesses, enjoy the rides and take in the whole Disney experience, figuring that this would be her only visit there. She wants to know when we'll go back, of course, but I'm determined that our next family vacation will reek of greenness and will likely involve some hiking, sleeping under the stars and a serious lack of mouse ears.

Old-Growth Beauty

2010-08-04T09:46:00.001-04:00

Did you know there is old growth forest in Rhode Island? I didn’t. But tucked away in a housing development in Portsmouth stands a 20-acre meadow and grove of American beech trees, some of which are estimated to be 200-300 years old. Oakland Forest and Meadow is its name – conserved since 2000 by the Aquidneck Land Trust.

I found out about it through the Family Passport to Aquidneck Island -- the Forest is one of eleven sites where you can collect a stamp for the Passport game, running through October.

So last weekend we hiked the ¾-mile path, in utter isolation and in awe of the natural history that surrounded us. Sofie clung to my back like a baby animal (there was lots of poison ivy on the ground), singing made-up songs through the forest.

We had two wildlife encounters: a beautiful butterfly that posed long enough for a photo, and some sort of bird family running frantically out of our path. We weren't sure what they were - turkeys, guinea hens, quail? Leave a comment if you know.

Making Energy Choices

2010-07-07T08:43:00.001-04:00

Want to celebrate clean energy? Bring the family to Energy Independence Day this Sunday, July 11, from 1-4 p.m. in Middletown. The event includes fun and games for the kids, tips on saving money, tours of the wind turbine, free admission and free parking (or take the free shuttle from Easton's Beach, right after visiting the Save The Bay Exploration Center).

Unfortunately, we have already committed to a birthday party, so I cannot go. But I did make my own energy statement just moments ago by signing up with People's Power and Light for my heating oil service. I'm very excited about this. When we bought our house just over a year ago, it came with a contract for another large, New England oil company, and we chose to stay with them. The decision was made out of convenience and laziness, really, because since then I have complained bitterly at their high rates every time we had to fill up the tank; grumbled over a few unsatisfying experiences with inept service technicians; and resented every dollar contributed to their big corporation.

It's July; our contract with them has ended; and I am eager about beginning a new relationship with PPL. Who knew I could get this invested in heating service? PPL offers excellent, below-the-state-average prices during the heating season. And while we chose the regular oil for now, it's good to know we have the option of BioHeating Oil, which is blended with oil refined from vegetable oil, recycled cooking grease or animal fats. Just knowing that I'm supporting a company that supports renewable, clean energy sources gives me a sense of relief.

People's Power and Light will be at the Energy Independence Day along with a long list of other exhibitors offering green products, providing energy demonstrations and initiating discussions of national energy issues.

Speaking of which, the Senate is currently working on their version of Clean Energy Legislation, and they could use your support. Read the details and send a letter to your Senator now.

Thoughts on Yard Care, Post-Flood

2010-04-16T09:42:00.004-04:00

With spring in full bloom, Mike and I have turned our attention outdoors. The yard we inherited with our house is kind of a mess with no real plan or aesthetic. We have ugly box hedges, tree roots popping up everywhere and not much in the way of plants. The only thing we’ve done since moving in is to install a playset for Sofie in the backyard.

We don’t care about nice grass. Not in the way my father did. He was a big fan of fertilizer, weed killer and anything that might achieve the lush green lawn of suburban euphoria. Often my sisters and I were not allowed to play on it because chemicals had just been applied or he feared we’d “ruin” the lawn. In contrast, my message to Sofie: Yards are for fun! Run around, play ball, enjoy digging. That picture-perfect lawn isn’t environmentally friendly anyway since it’s usually composed of species like Kentucky bluegrass that require too much water and fertilizer to maintain.

With my father-in-law’s help last weekend, we dug out an area in preparation for a starter vegetable garden. I’m a food-growing novice, so I’m starting small and hoping to get Sofie involved and excited about growing our own veggies. She surprised me by picking up a hoe and joining her grandfather in working the soil. (She looks so grown up here!) The plan is that each year we’ll expand the garden until it takes over most of the yard. Like I said, we don’t care much about grass.

We’ve also discussed creating a Japanese-style rock garden in the front yard, an area where nothing much will grow due to the abundance of tree roots from our neighbor’s large maple. The tree roots have also caused uneven ground that slopes slightly toward our foundation. With the devastating March floods and with climatologists predicting increasingly rainy weather for the Northeast, we’ve decided to make drainage and stormwater management a priority.

This led us to (finally!) hook up our rain barrel and to meet with a green landscape architect about our sloping lawn. We discussed French drains, underground tanks and rain gardens (download a how-to PDF here). Once we solve the drainage issue, we can then focus on making our yard look pretty with low maintenance native plants.

Speaking of yards, tomorrow we’re headed to Save The Bay’s 3rd annual Green Landscaping Workshop where I plan to absorb myself in all things green. If you go, you'll get a FREE copy of our hot-off-the press yard care guide, Bay-Friendly Backyards.

Bay-Friendly Yard Care Tips
Make your Lawn Eco-Friendly
Yard Care by the Seasons
List of Native Rhode Island Plants

Earth Hour - Join the Movement

2010-03-24T13:17:00.001-04:00

Here is a call to action. This Saturday, March 27, millions of people around the world will celebrate Earth Hour by turning off their lights at 8:30 p.m. local time. A movement begun in 2007 by Australians making a stand against climate change increased to 88 participating countries last year. In 2010, U.S. national monuments such as the Golden Gate Bridge, the Space Needle, the Empire State Building and the Las Vegas Strip will be powering down for that hour as well.

So, spread the word. The Earth Hour Web site has widgets and links to share via Facebook, Twitter, etc.

At home, we’ll be switching off the lights as well as most other electronic devices. Sofie should already be in bed, but Mike and I plan to enjoy the dark and silence joining millions worldwide in what is being deemed “the largest-ever call to action on climate change.”

To Barbie or Not To Barbie?

2010-03-19T09:58:00.001-04:00

I have a confession. Yesterday, I bought my daughter a Barbie.

Once upon a time, I swore there’d be no Barbies in our house so that Sofie would be free from cultural feminine stereotypes and negative messages about her body. But lately, with Barbie Fever running rampant through her peers, I’ve been rethinking my position. Perhaps I’m melting under pressure of her soulful, pleading face as she suggests to me that maybe one day, when she’s big enough, she can have her own Barbie. Or perhaps it’s due to a vision of my anorexic, fake-blond adult daughter one day informing her therapist that all her body image issues stem from having never been allowed to own the coveted doll.

There is some truth to that. I know that the forbidden object only increases in its desirability and, therefore, its effect. And similar to the toy gun issue … even if you ban them from your house, your kids will turn something else into a pretend gun.

My sisters and I played with Barbies. There was no stigma then. She was just another doll everyone had. I chopped her hair, sent her on dates with Ken and eventually abandoned her in a toy bin along with a bunch of other less sinister dolls.

Avoiding Barbie will not avoid negative messages. Sofie will be bombarded with them all her life. My job is simply to equip her with the self-esteem and inner strength to withstand the onslaught. I can’t bury my head in the sand about it. Better to face the enemy head on. Give her the Barbie to play with. And keep giving her positive messages about her body.

Ballerina Barbie is the one Sofie really wants. I bought it at Walmart, which feels like it only compounds the sin. I did at least avoid the blond, pink-attired cliché, and chose the more sensible brunette wearing purple. (As a side note: the ballerina doll has flexible feet that stand flat!) I draw the line at Barbie’s numerous plastic accessories and acquisitions. She can live in the wooden dollhouse Sofie already has.

What they really need is an Eco Barbie (made from all recyclable materials). She’d be wearing second-hand clothes (a “Respect Your Mother” T-shirt), no makeup and jewelry made from salvaged metals. Eco Barbie would come complete with her own recycling accessories, a hybrid car and an organic canvas Dream Yurt.

This whole Barbie issue reminds me how uncertain parenting is. So many things I was once adamant about can simply slip away into indifference, while issues I never expected can blindside me. Accepting that I can change my mind mid-game continues to be a refreshing revelation.

A Bit of Green at the Oscars

2010-03-11T09:20:00.002-05:00

Sofie has become a Fancy Nancy. She’s deep in that girly-girl stage of playing dress-up with high heels and gowns – the more taffeta and sequins, the better. Since I was a tomboy, we usually cannot connect on this point … except for the recent Oscars. We both enjoy watching the red carpet bits. Sofie “oohs” and “ahs” over the pretty dresses and sparkly jewelry. I wait for glimpses of George Clooney or Colin Firth.

Hollywood, particularly the Oscars, seems the antithesis of green with all that high-end fashion and excess. But I discovered at least one attendee using her time in the spotlight to make an eco-statement. Livia Giuggioli, Italian film producer, creative director of Eco, and wife of Oscar-nominated Colin Firth, wore a dress from sustainable designer Orsola de Castro and made entirely of scraps of waste material. Along with a purse that included ethically sourced Argyle pink diamonds. I was quite impressed!

The fashion industry is definitely an area in need of such eco-mindfulness. de Castro's method of “upcycling” salvages the waste of prestigious design labels. What a great statement (and a great dress, according to Sofie), yet neither Livia nor the dress were highlighted on TV. I only happened across this tidbit from related online searches, where I also learned that Livia showcased a string of ethical and sustainable fashions throughout the red carpet season, including a bamboo/wool suit certified by the Oeko-Tex label – a standard that evaluates textiles on environmental impact, global impact, fossil fuel use and local impact assessment.

All this makes me wish I had taken my mom up on offers to teach me how to sew when I was a child. If I had, I could be making eco dress-up gowns for Sofie or turning her outgrown clothing into garments for her dolls. As it is, we donate, pass along or recycle her old clothing, but I really admire the resourcefulness of reuse. And it’s exciting to learn…

Livia’s blog on the Green Carpet Challenge
What are ethically sourced diamonds?
5 Ways to Reuse Fabric Scraps

Food for Thought

2010-02-12T08:58:00.001-05:00

Yesterday Sofie asked me to play dolls with her -- as she often does these days -- but this time i took the dolls' conversation to a new place. It went something like this:

Daisy (Sofie's doll): "Hi. How are you?"
Tiana (my doll):"I'm upset."
Daisy: "Why?"
Tiana: "I'm worried about fish."
Daisy: "Fish?"
Tiana: "Yes. I don't know which fish to buy. Is it better to get the wild caught fish from Alaska or the fish that might contain mercury but is caught locally?"
Daisy: {hesitates} Hey, let's go shopping!"

OK, so obviously it was over her head, but these types of conversations, spoken regularly, might actually work their way into her daily vernacular.

Fish, and food in general, was on my mind as I had been reading the first chapter in Menu for the Future, the book for a bi-monthly discussion group that Mike and I have organized. Since we're hosting the group at our house, Sofie is inevitably a part of it all. She and her playmate Ella (the daughter of another group member) will be present for discussions regarding the state of our food: what we buy, where we buy it, how even the way we eat food affects us... The girls might not really be paying attention to what we say, but I believe the mere act of bringing people together to talk about and share food makes a strong statement.

Sofie's at that finicky age where she'd probably live on macaroni and hot dogs if I let her. So anything that introduces her to new foods and creates an atmosphere encouraging her to try them is alright with me. We've already had success with this method when we made an outing of the Pawtucket Wintertime Farmer's Market. Sofie was hungry; farmers offered free samples; she tried (and appeared to like) a watermelon radish. (It probably helped that it was pink.)

The food book discussion group will hopefully encourage Mike and I to try new things as well. For us, it's less about new food as it is about new food practices: finally joining a CSA, starting a vegetable garden or asking the man behind the meat counter for details about the chicken we're buying. It's educational, it's social, it's fun. And it's all part of my master plan to teach Sofie the value of conscious food choices.

Wild Winter Weekend

2010-02-02T10:50:00.003-05:00

Looking to get out of the house this winter? Head for the Wild & Scenic Environmental Film Festival at the end of February. It plays in Providence, Newport and Stonington, so wherever you live in Rhode Island, a theater isn’t far. You can stay warm inside while viewing two hours of 7 films for just $10.

I’m planning on attending and had entertained thoughts about bringing Sofie along as well. She may be bored by some of the films — although she has pretty good stamina for feature-length grown-up movies (e.g.: Mamma Mia, Grease, That Thing You Do…) — it’s the Disney movies that scare her (we had to turn off The Little Mermaid as soon saw Sofie saw a shark.) It’s more her vocal inquiries that I’m worried about: “Mommy, what kind of animal is that?” “Mama – why is she crying?” or “Mmmm…cheese!” She’s at that age where she remarks upon everything and I like to provide her with complete, age-appropriate answers. And while I want her to know about global warming, pollution, changing the world and The Power of Poop (yes, that is one of the film shorts!)… it’s probably better that we do it when a hundred other people don’t have to hear it as well.

However, even if you leave the kids at home, have them view this 4-minute cartoon on YouTube: Plastic Perils of the Pacific.

Last Minute Holiday Gifts

2009-12-23T14:11:00.001-05:00

With two days to go before Christmas, I just wanted to push this link out there for all those last-minute shoppers. It's the Healthy Holidays Handbook from Toxics Information Project. In addition to green gifting options, the Handbook offers tons of ideas for gifts that are more than "just stuff" including games, lessons and local activities.

Now that Sofie is three and developing a penchant for collecting "stuff," we chose to focus our holiday season on doing lots of family activities. There are presents too, but we've spread them out over a few weeks via a Solstice Calendar - some days Sofie gets to open a gift, other days we're making cards for her teachers or watching a holiday movie together. She seems to enjoy it so far, and I like how it doesn't reduce the holidays to one crazy gift-opening, paper-tearing morning.

Happy Holidays to everyone!

This Little Family Went to the Market

2009-12-16T08:57:00.006-05:00

I want to tell you about the most delectable meal I had this weekend.

Having only recently discovered the existence of the Winter Farmers’ Market in Pawtucket, we took a family trip on Saturday. Yum! Here’s my first impression of the market, located inside Hope Artiste Village: smiling families and eager vendors; the smells of fresh lemon basil pesto, pungent coffee beans and rich chocolate; the sounds of live music; and a visually sensual display of leafy and surprisingly colorful winter vegetables (who knew cauliflower came in orange and purple?).

What Sofie loved most about the market were the free samples. We tasted watermelon radishes, a variety of cheeses and apples, fresh breads and fruit honey sticks. I bought a collection of winter veggies (bok choy, radishes, carrots, turnips) that came with its own stir fry recipe, fresh spinach pasta from Nonni’s in Tiverton and – because it is Sofie’s new favorite color -- the purple cauliflower from Wishing Stone Farm.

These were the ingredients for dinner that night. And oh! what a difference freshness makes! We also had grilled steaks on the side, but they were not even necessary. The pasta and veggies were so flavorful and filling on their own. Plus we fulfilled our dietary needs by eating according to color. I love that we made an event out of buying local and cooking together.

Okay, so Sofie wasn’t as thrilled as the rest of us — she’ll try almost any veggie once, including the watermelon radish, but usually decides against it. Note: I will accept any and all advice on how to make your child a veggie lover. Our eating them by example just isn’t enough.

Winter Stir-fry

1 turnip / 2 large radishes / 1 small bok choi / 2 small carrots

2 Tb butter or olive oil

1/2 tsp sea salt

1 tsp tumeric

dash of cayenne

Thinly slice carrots (1/4”). Quarter or halve turnip and radish, and thinly slice. Chop bok choi into 1/2” pieces. Keep leaves separate from stems. Heat butter or olive oil in skillet. Add carrots to pan and sauté 5 min. Add turnip and radish, sauté another 5-10 min until they begin to get tender. Add sea salt, tumeric and cayenne. Add bok choi stems, sauté 5 min. Add bok choi leaves, stir and sauté 2-3 min more. Add more seasoning as desired. Serve over bed of rice, quinoa or pasta.

Roasted Cauliflower

1 head cauliflower

2 Tb olive oil

3 garlic cloves, minced

1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese

1/2 tsp salt

1/4 tsp pepper

1/4 tsp chili powder

Preheat oven to 450. Cut cauliflower into florets and place in large bowl. Drizzle with olive oil and toss to coat. Transfer to cookie sheet and bake for 20 min, stirring once at 10 min. Sprinkle with garlic, salt, pepper, chili powder and bake 5 more min. Sprinkle with parmesan cheese in a large bowl and serve.

Hiking, Bugs and Holiday Lights

2009-12-07T09:27:00.002-05:00

Okay, catching up a bit here… Sofie’s been going through a phase where she no longer likes to hike. (At least, I hope it’s a phase.) How did this happen? I have blogged here for nearly two years about my nature girl and our outdoor exploits around New England. Now she doesn’t even want to take evening walks in our neighborhood – would rather be carried or pushed in the stroller.

Then a few Sundays ago, we finally joined Rhode Island Families in Nature on one of their monthly hikes. This one was through Ryan Park in North Kingstown – a place we’d never been — and Sofie actually seemed to enjoy herself. She walked about two-thirds of the trail herself. It must have been the other kids. Group behavior. Seeing other little ones hiking and having fun zapped the whining right out of her. That, and stopping for a mug of hot chocolate afterwards. She said she’d hike again if it meant hot cocoa afterwards!

My three-year-old has also been displaying an inquisitive nature recently. Her latest issue is about bugs. When we had that warm spell recently, she noticed the flurry of moths that congregated outside our windows and doors in the evening. Now she notices their absence and asked me: “Where do the bugs go when it gets cold?” I had to tell her I honestly didn’t know…

But after a bit of reseach, I can now tell her that some insects (like the monarch butterfly) migrate south seeking warmer temperatures. Most bugs will stay here, finding some sort of shelter in hollow trees, caves, crevices or even below the icy ponds (mosquitoes and dragonflies). Some will actually dwell in human houses. Ladybugs, flies and some beetles overwinter in attics, wall voids and other out-of-the-way areas in our homes (this I think I will not tell her). Others (such as cicadas) will spend winter underground in larvae form. And the moth that started this line of questioning? They cocoon in the fall and need that cold winter to fully develop. If they hatch early, chances are they don’t survive. So I suppose I will have to inform Sofie that those moths of a week ago have probably since died.

On a holiday note, we’ve switched to LED lights this year, for the tree and outside. In case you needed some incentive to make the switch, LEDs offer several bonuses:

Added safety. Lamps always remain cool to the touch. Because holiday lighting is often used in close proximately to combustible materials (dry evergreen trees) this feature can greatly reduce the risk of holiday fires.
Solid-state reliability. No longer will you have to worry about one lamp ruining your whole string.
Longevity. LED lamps are rated for 50,000 hours of use or more while standard incandescent lights typically last for only 2,000 hours.
No glass bulbs to break. LED lights are encased in a nearly indestructible epoxy casing
No filaments to burn out. Unlike incandescent bulbs there is not filament to burn out so they last much longer and won't be damaged or ruined if you drop them or step on them.
Extreme energy efficiency. Uses only 10% of the electricity required to power traditional incandescent. For a typical household this will mean a cost savings of $20.00 or more during the standard 30 day holiday season.
Nearly indestructible, solid epoxy lenses. High-quality LED lights can withstand the force of a tractor trailer without breaking.
Rust proof, Zinc-coated lamp contacts. The lamp components will not rust when used outdoors or in moist environments.
Uses standard house current (120 VAC, 60 Hz). No need for an electrician or expensive power converters.
No transformer required. Allows for simple installation and use.

And there is a light recycling program for those old holiday incandescents. Do it now and you’ll receive a coupon for buying those LEDs!

Kids for Climate Change

2009-10-26T13:26:00.002-04:00

Last Saturday, my family recognized the International Day of Climate Action by attending a rally at Waterplace Park. Attendance was depressingly sparse, whether from the weather or lack of interest, I do not know. Worldwide on that day, 181 countries participated in over 5200 events calling for strong leadership on the climate crisis. I hope the other Rhode Island events pulled in more enthusiasm.

The point of the whole day was to demand strong action at December’s Climate Change conference in Copenhagen. That’s when a climate treaty (currently being worked on by the United Nations) is supposed to be finalized. The word at present is that the treaty is too weak to be effective. According to scientists, 350 Parts Per Million is the number that leading scientists say is the safe upper limit for carbon dioxide. It’s the number humanity needs to get back to as soon as possible to avoid runaway climate change. Right now we’re at 387.

As hard as it is to get people to change their habits, having an official, global agreement grounded in science seems a good place to start. Leaders need to send a strong message to people everywhere in order to have any chance at all. Because getting down to 350 will require big changes across the board.

So, you missed the Day of Climate Action but still want to make your voice heard? Put your child (or pet or yourself) on the cover of Mother Jones magazine, and send the image to your legislators (even to President Obama). Then spread the word to friends and family by emailing the cover image (might make a nice holiday card as well!)

Photos from Day of Climate Action
Some steps you can take to reduce carbon output.

Weekly Update

2009-10-19T11:35:00.001-04:00

Sofie had her birthday fairy princess tea party last weekend, which turned out really well. The best part was how the invited families really got into the donation idea — we asked for donation toward pediatric AIDS in lieu of birthday gifts and in honor of Princess Diana, since the girls were learning about real-life princesses. Everyone gave (bringing proof of their donations) with some extolling the idea and voicing how it inspired them for the next birthday. Aside from the good cause, the donations meant we had no gift wrap, no product packaging and no fights over new toys! Am thinking this is definitely the way to go for Christmas too.

Since September 3, we’ve fed our family seven meatless Thursdays, and I must say I’m really enjoying it. The vegetarian meals we’ve tried (many recipes coming from my supportive, veggie sister) are quite filling and incredibly delicious, and most have even given us leftovers. Using the numbers from my earlier post, this means my husband and I have saved 35 pounds of greenhouse gas emissions, 336 square feet of land and 1,862 gallons of water!

Take this quick carbon quiz!

Fall Travels

2009-10-14T14:16:00.008-04:00

We’ve just returned from back-to-back road trips: one celebrating my husband’s 40th birthday in New Hampshire’s White Mountains; the other a family reunion in southern New Jersey. Were the trips eco-friendly? Let’s find out.

We certainly emitted less carbon by driving instead of flying – and our Scion xB (with adequately inflated tires) averaged a wallet-friendly 34 mpg on the highway. Traveling in the shoulder season, we didn’t require air conditioning or heat in either location. And we constantly toted along our reusable aluminum water bottles. But it was my husband’s family that took the eco-prize.

My Filipino in-laws tend toward green practices naturally, and for them, it’s not part of the current eco-movement, it’s cultural.

They have never owned a dryer – clothes hang on a line year-round. They keep the thermostat low (often mid-winter, I’ve wondered if it was even on) and just pile on the sweaters. In their backyard garden, they grow the majority of their own vegetables, canning leftovers for winter. And no pesticides here; rather, I’ve seen my father-in-law strike bugs dead with nothing but Zen-like patience and a knife. They are even diehard enough to resort to the significantly eco navy shower. What Sofie could learn if she lived with her paternal grandparents for a while…

However, she seemed happy enough with our own agenda, which was perhaps a little low on green strategies but high on exploration and family togetherness.

In New Hampshire, despite the rain, we got out into nature: easy hiking, apple and pumpkin picking, plus a soak in the complimentary spa hot tub (for the record, hot tubs are typically not eco-friendly, but this one company is making an effort).

Here, I also gave Sofie her first turn behind the camera. This is what she came up with:

In New Jersey, Sofie bonded with her five-year-old cousin Kai and a slew of aunties who spent quality time with her reading books and building log cabins (made of wood, not plastic!).

Overall, the trips were enjoyable, if tiring, and I’d be more than happy to nest in my own eco-aspiring home for the next six months.

Home Green Home

2009-10-01T11:33:00.005-04:00

A week ago we had a home energy audit. It’s free, sort of. (You actually already pay for it through your National Grid bill, so might as well take advantage of this service.)

Ron from RISE Engineering probed throughout our house from basement to attic. And what did he discover? That our walls have absolutely no insulation! Fabulous news to hear right after we’ve spent our Obama money on other home improvement projects. Really, I can’t understand how the previous owners (who had the house custom-built for them and lived here 50-odd years) could not have insulated their abode, but for a few measly inches in the attic.

Unfortunately, as oil heat consumers, we are not eligible for the current awesome National Grid discounts on home insulation. However, all you gas and electric heat customers out there should jump on this opportunity now. You’ll get sprayed cellulose insulation, which is environmentally friendly, lasts practically forever and saves up to 40% on your heating costs. It’s such a simple thing to do for your wallet and for the environment.

Ron was impressed that we already used compact fluorescent light bulbs and most of our appliances were Energy-Star rated. (If you haven’t switched already, you’ll receive up to eight free CFLs during the audit.) I’ve been dying to replace the old clothes washer with an efficient, front-loading one, and I could be in luck if this potential Cash for Clunker Appliances money gets released. We also learned that we have excellent, highly efficient windows but our doors and bulkhead need major weatherproofing.

I am left wishing that we’d done this audit when we first bought the house in February so that our money had gone toward something green that would also produce immediate savings for us. I thought I was ahead of the game installing all my CFLs, but that’s just the tip of the home energy iceberg. I blame those extended years of apartment living when someone else often paid the utility bills so I never thought much about it.

So, until we accrue some more savings, I'll try to do some of the inexpensive fix-its (insulating the attic hatch and light switch plates on exterior walls). And repeat to Sofie the lessons my father drilled into me: Turn the lights off! Use cold water instead of hot. Don't flush every time. Keep that refrigerator door closed! Cold? Wear a sweater.

RI National Grid Energy Services
Massachusetts Energy Savings
DIY Home Energy Audit
Cellulose vs. Fiberglass Insulation
Air Leakage Diagram

Birthday for a Princess

2009-09-22T09:56:00.002-04:00

With Sofie’s 3rd birthday approaching, we’re hearing lots of talk from our daughter about cake and parties. Big change from the last two years when she hardly knew what a birthday was. Now she’s been indoctrinated through invitations to friends’ parties where cake, ice cream and presents are the norm. This is not what we want our norm to be, but how do we tell her this without crushing her?

My husband would like to honor Sofie’s birthday by taking a trip down memory lane: telling her our stories, sharing video, photos and poems from her birth. I like that. It’s personal; it speaks to the real meaning behind a birthday. But what about the fun factor?

I also wondered how other countries celebrate birthdays and discovered a range of traditions. Unfortunately, the ones relating to Sofie’s ancestry (Filipino, Irish, Italian and Scottish) involve either physical duress (bumps, smacks and ear pulls) or trips to Mass. Hardly inspiring.

So, why do we celebrate birthdays anyway? It seems our ancestors were a highly superstitious bunch, believing themselves to be hunted by evil spirits, particularly when undergoing a life change such as turning a year older. Having a party with loud singing and raucous friends could keep the evil spirits at bay. And while people didn’t routinely bring presents, it was extra fortuitous for the birthday honoree if they did.

Now, we don’t believe in evil spirits, but we do love a party! So I think we can meet Sofie’s desire for one, on a much smaller scale. I once read that the child’s age should determine the number of guests (i.e.: invite 3 kids for the 3rd birthday), which seems manageable to me. Throw in a handful of family and close adult friends and voila!

However, I will be as eco-conscious as possible about this. Email invitations, reusable dishware, cloth napkins, and no disposable decorations. Nature can be our décor as the kids enjoy Sofie’s outdoor swing set, and adults mingle with drinks and music. Perhaps we’ll make a project of creating a reusable birthday banner from cloth. (check out these other green décor ideas.)

And then we come to the presents. Sofie has plenty of toys, plenty of plastic, and we’re trying to rail against the rampant consumerism of such holidays. No need to add more to our closets, much less the landfills. Now might be the time to build in some lessons on social justice. Teach Sofie that so many kids in the world have so little compared to her; encourage her to give to them (guests can donate to a cause in lieu of gifts). She’s already really good at understanding the concept of “too much” stuff. When we picked up a princess scooter at a yard sale, she generously offered to give her old bike to the neighbor boy. And she helped me go through her old toys and videos, selecting which ones to give to her baby cousin since Sofie has outgrown them.

Ooh, but my creative juices are flowing now. I want to tie this party together with a theme, and with my daughter’s current princess obsession, maybe I can introduce Sofie and her friends to some real life princesses such as Princess Diana — who was devoted to causes like AIDS awareness and removing buried land mines in 3rd world countries. Guests could donate to an AIDS organization. The kids can dress up as princesses and listen to one of many Princess Di children’s stories I’ve found at the library. Who says green can’t be fun?

Eco-friendly birthday party ideas
Meaningful gifts

Meatless Thursdays

2009-09-04T09:38:00.003-04:00

We’re a family of meat eaters, both coming from a long line of carnivores (except for my vegetarian sister). Mike and Sofie and I love meat, plus Mike is on a high-protein diet in which he eats lots of it. However, yesterday we started Meatless Thursdays as a new tradition in the DeForbes household.

Our reasons have nothing to do with diet or moral issues. It’s environmental; we’re taking another small step to fight global warming.

Last year, the United Nation's Food and Agriculture Organization estimated that meat production accounts for nearly one-fifth of global greenhouse gas emissions. These are mainly emitted during feed production, livestock transportation and animal gases. Those cute grazing cows emit methane, a more potent greenhouse gas than carbon.

If everyone went meatless one day per week, the demand for meat would greatly decrease and do much to offset the threat of global warming. Less demand for meat frees up farmland that could instead be used for growing fuel crops, which would reduce our dependency on fossil fuels, or for vegetation, which would suck up some of those carbon emissions.

Our diets account for almost twice as many greenhouse emissions as driving! Beef is the biggest contributor since cows take up much more space and emit lots more potent methane gases. Every time you eat a meal free of animal products, you save 2.5 lbs. of greenhouse gas emissions, 24 square feet of land and 133 gallons of water. That’s nothing to sneeze at.

In May, Ghent, Belgium became the first city to officially declare and promote a meat-free day. Since then, there has been a growing international movement for Meat Free Mondays, including petitions from 11 countries. (Sign the petition here.) As a family, we reduced our beef consumption years ago, filling our freezer with chicken, pork and turkey instead. But, inspired by the Ghent story, we felt it was time to go a step further, and kicked off Meatless Thursdays with a yummy Mexican bean casserole.

An interesting if somewhat depressing side note: in researching this issue online, almost all of the newspapers and documents that spread the UN’s “Eat Less Meat” mantra were from foreign countries, mainly Europe. Barely a peep from the meat-loving, meat industry-driven USA.

An Unflushable Toilet of Trash

2009-08-26T09:27:00.007-04:00

Do you know about the Great Pacific Garbage Patch? It’s the largest landfill in the world — a swirling vortex of marine litter in the central North Pacific Ocean. This massive trash gyre stretches from the coast of California, past Hawaii, almost as far as Japan and is now estimated to be twice the size of the continental United States!

Where did all this trash come from? From people, of course — people all over the world carelessly tossing their trash onto coastlines or streets and sidewalks where the rain eventually washes it into the waterways. The wind and ocean currents in the North Pacific are such that floating debris gets trapped into the gyre, an area that sailors avoid like the plague.

The Garbage Patch contains about 3.5 million tons of trash and most of that is plastic, which comprises about 90% of all marine trash. In some areas, the amount of plastic outweighs the amount of plankton by a ratio of six to one.

Last year, Junk, a 30-foot vessel floating on a raft of 15,000 salvaged plastic bottles, made a three-month-long California-to-Hawaii voyage to raise awareness about plastics fouling our oceans. Some of their findings and photos are just astonishing. And highly depressing.

I know Sofie is at least attuned to trash. When we were at the PawSox game last weekend, she pointed out unreachable areas of the stadium where piles of bottles, soda cans, napkins, etc. had collected. “Look at all that trash, Mommy!” She wants to know why is it on the ground? Why not in a trashcan? And adds, “Somebody needs to clean that up!”

But cleaning can only go so far. Reducing the amount of trash in the first place is key. A concept I’m trying to explain to Sofie as she receives her drinks in a reusable container instead of the juice boxes she lusts after. I myself am still guilty of buying plastic water bottles and cheap plastic toys, among other things. And even though I recycle them, who knows how many fall along the wayside from can to truck to dumpsite? Better to just stop buying them altogether.

Watch a VIDEO of the Great Pacific Garbage Patch
FAQs about the Garbage Patch
Ideas on How to Stop Using Plastic
Children's Book: All The Way to the Ocean

Potty Talk

2009-08-06T14:54:00.010-04:00

There’s news in the DeForbes household: Sofie has officially proclaimed herself a Big Girl. After several weeks of focused potty learning (I am averse to the word “training” – I have a daughter, not a dog), Sofie, Mike and I are celebrating this milestone. Not just for developmental reasons but for the eco ones too:

I never have to buy disposable diapers again.

Okay, she’s still wearing a pull-up at night, but I have immediate plans to buy a few pairs of waterproof underwear so that I never have to buy disposable diapers again. Yay! That’s one less child’s plastic pull-ups in the landfill!

The whole potty learning process went quite smooth. Sofie was an eager pupil who moved at her own pace with lots of encouragement from me, Daddy, her teachers and Elmo. She just loves her potty (wherever the location), but mostly she loves being a Big Girl. She enjoys going at the same time I do, likes reading while on her potty and takes great care in making daily selections of her Dora and Princess underwear.

Now that we’ve got the basics down, we’re working on details like toilet paper quantity. I’ve informed Sofie that trees die to make toilet paper. However, she doesn’t seem too saddened by this – eek! The child is already desensitized. Right now she vacillates between rolling off a huge wad of paper to tearing off a piece no bigger than her nose.

Unfortunately, I did not do any green research before buying our potties (a portable 3-in-1 set for the bathroom and a folding seat for travel). I wish I had, because look what I found — an eco-friendly potty made from plant waste – it lasts for several years and when you’re done, you plant it in your garden! Those Brits are always one eco-step ahead of us. Safety 1st even has a new environmentally friendly line of products, including a 3-in-1 potty made from bioplastics and easily accessible from Walmart.

Other options? A bamboo potty seat or this biodegradeable disposable potty made from compostable cardboard. Cute, although I think buying just one reusable seat and washing it regularly is a cheaper and reasonable green option. Yes, it’s plastic, but just think of the number of disposable cardboard potties you’d be throwing away – unless your child never leaves the house. I hope, at least, to recycle our potties by passing them on to my sister and niece. Or perhaps find some way to cleverly disguise them as planters in the garden.

Meanwhile I get to enjoy those moments when Big Girl Sofie wanders into the bathroom to observe and comment on my potty-using. “You pooped!” she exclaims with glee. “Good job, Mommy!”

Green Pull-ups and Training Pants
Some Toilet Learning Tips
Bamboo Nappies and Training Pants

Arsenic and Old Wood

2009-07-29T13:45:00.011-04:00

My husband and I have decided it’s time to get our daughter a swing set. Swinging is her favorite thing to do. If Sofie were in charge, we’d never leave the playground. At school, she spends much of her day amusing herself on the wooden play structures, inside and out. Just imagine the free time having a structure in our yard might provide us!

I grew up with one of those metal swing sets that are abundant on Craigslist these days. However they are merely that - swings and a slide. No climbing structure for agility. No clubhouse for imaginative play. Mike and I provide Sofie with much mental and emotional stimulation. Our chosen swing set needs to provide a good physical outlet to maintain her interest outdoors.

So the next decision then is wood or plastic? My instinct was to assume wood was the greener choice, however, that’s not necessarily true. Consider that most wooden swing sets are treated with chemicals to help preserve the wood, particularly CCA — chromated copper arsenate or, in layman’s terms, arsenic. A comprehensive study by the EPA concluded that children easily absorb this human carcinogen into their bodies just from playing on these wooden swing sets – the exposure increases their risk of lung and bladder cancer later on.

An even scarier fact: A 12-foot section of pressure-treated lumber contains about an ounce of arsenic, or enough to kill 250 people. Lovely. (Read other scary facts and learn about some preventative measures.)

The good news is that consumer products manufactured with CCA-treated wood were apparently phased out in 2004. However, this means I won’t be recycling anyone’s used wooden swing set from Craigslist. Green as that may be, the health hazards are too great. (By the way, this same CCA-treated wood can be found in older decks, picnic tables and gazebos as well.)

Now there is one company – CedarWorks - whose wood is chemical free, and they follow other eco values such as running their facilities on bio-fuel and planting seedlings for every swing set sold or catalog requested. Plus you can customize your own set to fit your needs.
Sounds fabulous!

However, this is where the size of our yard presents a problem. Our house is centered on a 6,000 square foot lot, so there is no large backyard. The side yard, which offers the most space, also has a maple tree rooted dead center, greatly reducing our options. A small set is all we can do, barely leaving enough room for the six-foot safety zone. And there doesn’t seem to be anything small on the CedarWorks Web site. Also, there are no prices listed for their “premier” sets, which surely means mucho mullah. * sigh * Why can’t green be cost-efficient too?

In terms of plastic play sets, I found this woman-owned, family-owned company that creates playgrounds out of recycled plastic. They offer a range of cute play systems but they appear to be largely for public sites and day care centers with prices to match. Here’s another company that offers DIY eco-friendly composite structures, way out of my price range, but maybe not for some of you.

Ideally, a DIY ecologically-minded person would build a play structure him or herself, using sustainable wood and salvaged or recycled products. Sadly, neither Mike nor I am that person.

But this research has given me plenty to think about. Whether we find it in our budget to support green companies and products like CedarWorks or choose to go for a less expensive, plastic option with good recyclable resale value (Step2 and Little Tykes), our daughter will soon be climbing and swinging to her heart’s content.

Fact Sheet About CCA-Treated Wood
Sustainable Wooden Swing Sets from Walmart

Weekly Update

2009-07-20T10:08:00.002-04:00

Since becoming Scion owners less than 3 weeks ago, we have averaged 31 mpg – and that’s mostly city driving. Yay! Looking forward to seeing how the xB performs on the highway (and interior cargo space) when we go camping in the Berkshires next month.

In the meantime, I need to consider how to keep this car clean (the Corolla was so ghetto-looking, that we just didn’t care). I discovered Simple Green Car Care -- a gentle, biodegradeable soap inside a fully recyclable bottle. Yet washing your car in your driveway is the worst thing you can do for the watershed – car washes are better since the runoff gets treated before being discharged into the environment. But the best option appears to be this waterless car wash that I’m tempted to try.

In other news, since the rain ended a week ago, I have been focused on sun safety – am I using the right sunscreen for Sofie? I’ve been using Baby Blanket Sunblock, mainly because I got a carton of it for free. Now that I’m seeking products with less chemicals, I went to Environmental Working Group’s Web site only to find that many of the most popular brands are either cancer-causing or falsely touting their UVB/UVA and SPF protection. Here’s a few of the recommended brands that rated the lowest in sun and health hazards. (Badger Sunscreen, available at Whole Foods, appears to be the best.)

Happy Summer!

Best Non-Hybrid Car?

2009-07-07T15:03:00.006-04:00

Green beat out ugly. I’m talking about my new, pre-owned car, the Scion xB. I’ve never liked this box on wheels since its 2005 debut, never imagined that I’d one day be a proud owner of said box.

Our 1996 Corolla had been dying in parts lately, so my husband and I were shopping for a replacement. Our biggest priorities were: fuel economy (the Corolla could still average 33 miles per gallon), space (we were unable to fit our daughter and all our camping equipment into the Corolla on our recent trip) and price (this, unfortunately, ruled out hybrids).

I thought this was finally my chance to get an SUV. I’ve always had a soft spot for those sporty vehicles despite their bad eco rap. But the ones we were interested in (namely the RAV4 and CRV) averaged 22 mpg, which seemed a big dip for a bit more space. Our test drive of an older RAV4 found the interior space underwhelming. For the steep price tag, it seemed only slightly larger than our Corolla. We also tested a Ford Focus wagon. The price was right – very cheap – but I had doubts about its reliability. As our only family car, we wanted a reliable workhorse, which, to us, meant Toyota or Honda. Subaru would have been a viable option if they offered front wheel drive in their wagons (all wheel drive is just another drain on fuel economy).

Once we rethought our space needs (on a daily basis, we just don’t need SUV-sized space), we determined a small wagon and removable roof rack could do the job more economically. This led us to the Matrix and Scion xB.

I resisted looking seriously at the Scion (ugly box! ugly box!), but then my practical nature won out. In print, it met all our priorities; I had to try it. When I actually climbed inside the xB and drove it for the first time, I was sold. It’s not ugly on the inside. It’s surprisingly roomy, stylish and raised enough that it still feels like you’re driving an SUV. And with all that extra space, it still averages close to 30 mpg. Plus, even though it is 10 years newer than our Corolla, it barely bumped up our insurance.

And here’s a bonus I discovered after the fact: According to one research firm’s “Dust to Dust” assessment (figuring ‘cost per lifetime mile’), the Scion xB was the greenest vehicle available in 2007. Be still my little eco heart.

Fuel Flexible Vehicles
Driving Green
Green air filters

Happy Camper

2009-06-30T11:42:00.009-04:00

We just got back from our first camping trip in three years – Sofie’s first. I’d forgotten just how grimy three shower-less days can feel, although Sofie seemed to have no problem with that part. All in all, she was quite the trooper, adapting quickly to tent life in the dirt and drizzle. (The bugs she could do without.)

My husband and I invested in camping gear when we first moved to Rhode Island, figuring it was the cheapest way to see New England. Now, as parents, we realize that it is also a fairly green way to travel and share our love of nature with our daughter. While we did not give much thought when purchasing our gear 6 years ago, I am now analyzing it with an eye to sustainability.

Here are some ideas for camping green:

Pitch a tent. RVs and trailers consume a huge amount of energy and fuel. A tent is lightweight, easy to pack and there’s nothing quite as peaceful as sleeping in one while the rain lightly falls. If you must do the RV, you can at least offset some carbon emissions with a Terra Pass. In my 20s, I could just lie in my sleeping bag on the ground, not minding the various tree roots pressing into my back. These days, an airbed is a must and, together with the sleeping bag, provides enough comfort. Now you can buy recycled sleeping bags and there’s even an award-winning, carbon-neutral eco thermal pad on the market.
Use reusable cooking equipment, dishes and utensils that can be washed on site. Avoid paper products - even your napkins can be cloth. Buy foods in bulk before the trip instead of those individually wrapped specialty products that use way more packaging than necessary (and bring containers for storing leftovers). The campfire is still the most ecologically friendly way to cook, although I don’t see us disposing of our propane-fueled stove anytime soon.
Use biodegradable soaps. Now this is something I had not thought about when I brought along our ordinary dish detergent. Maine had strict regulations on the disposal of gray water so that it wouldn’t end up contaminating nearby waterways, but even biodegradable soaps can eventually pollute and need to be used sparingly.
Conserve energy with LED flashlights and lanterns, a much more energy-efficient alternative. And leave the tech stuff (laptops, radios, portable TVs, etc.) at home. It will all still be there when you return.
About those bugs… I’ve been using Burt’s Bees bug repellent on Sofie with success. She ended up with fewer bites than either Mike or I who, fearing the efficacy of Burt, each used the DEET stuff. Repel Lemon Eucalyptus also comes highly recommended. Natural remedies include essential oils of lavender, peppermint, bergamot and cedarwood. After the bite, you can try calamine lotion, toothpaste (the white kind), tea tree or lavender oil.

Above all, respect nature. Ostensibly, your love of nature is the reason you’re camping to begin with. Some of the best moments this weekend were watching Sofie run along the waves at the beach, hearing her squeal with delight as a chipmunk ran over her foot and inhaling the outdoorsy and slightly smoky scent of her.

More Ways to Camp Ecologically
More Biodegradable Soaps
Camping Green with your Dog
Campgrounds near Ogunquit, Maine
Campgrounds in Rhode Island

Biker Chic

2009-06-16T14:13:00.003-04:00

I am trying to get back into biking to work. I used to bike nearly every day before (and into the 4th month of) my pregnancy. It wasn’t far – just a mile and a half. Then motherhood arrived with an increased resistance to exercise (no energy! no time!). After dropping Sofie at daycare, it just seemed easier to continue on to work in the car. And there is that added convenience of running errands child-free during the work day.

I am in such need of exercise. Yet, it is the last way I want to spend any precious free time. Then some of our AmeriCorps educators introduced a staff commuter incentive program, which was enough added incentive to get me back on the bike. I’ve biked to work 5 times in the last several weeks. And from my new house, this is a 7-mile ride roundtrip cardio workout. Added eco-bonus: Bicycling just one day reduces greenhouse gas emissions by 24 pounds. As a group, Save The Bay staff has “green” commuted more than 800 miles, keeping 895 pounds of carbon emissions from joining the atmosphere!

Acquiring a new bike helmet (which you should do every 5 years) led me to discover that there are no recycling programs for old ones. The best you can do is to take the helmet apart, toss the plastic shell into your blue recycling bin and reuse the foam as packing material for sending jars of homemade jam to Great Aunt Thelma. Or, if you’re the arty type, several sites suggested using the old helmet as a planter and hanging it from your porch.

Green Commuting
5 Benefits of Bike Riding

Seeing Red Over Green

2009-05-26T14:34:00.004-04:00

I have no wise ecological words today. Instead, I need your advice. I am feeling rather frustrated with my green efforts around the house. For all their eco-benefits, these methods are trying my patience as well as my standards of cleanliness and convenience. Help!

So far, natural methods of ant control in my kitchen have been weak and short-lived. Borax, cinnamon, vinegar, chalk lines… one or all of them seemed to reduce ant sightings for a week or so. But apparently, they were only on hiatus. This past weekend, the ants came back, bringing friends and relatives! Was it the rain? Do these natural methods need to be applied every freakin’ week?! Our latest attempt was a liberal spraying of Dr. Bronner’s peppermint soap. It smells yummy and does seem to kill them on contact. Yet, will it keep them away? If this doesn’t work, I fear I will no longer be able to restrain my husband from reaching for the Raid.
The dishwasher is not getting all our dishes clean. We haven’t had a dishwasher in years, and were so thrilled when our house came with one (it is apparently the eco-friendly option). I ran out to buy Seventh Generation automatic dishwashing soap, however, we are consistently removing “clean” dishes with food particles stuck to them. Friends tell us this is a quality appliance, so I don’t think that is the issue. I am so tempted to do a Cascade dishwashing test – please, please send me some advice to help me avoid turning to those water-polluting phosphates!
I bought a manual reel mower to cut our lawn. (Gas powered mowers contribute 5% of the nation’s air pollution.) Since becoming a homeowner, I had been looking forward to this, remembering a summer years back when I used an old reel mower to maintain my roommate’s backyard. Does my memory fool me? Or is New England grass more difficult? My current reality involves the mower continually getting jammed from the tiniest branch or a long weed wrapping itself around the axle. This makes for a very tedious, stop n’ go routine.

I thought, perhaps, the first mowing of the season was more challenging due to the lengthy grass. However, my 2nd go-round didn’t seem any easier. The mower merely rolls over tall weeds, and tall weeds — interspersed with some grass — is what makes our front yard. My husband ended up “mowing” the front yard with the weed wacker to get the parts my mower could not. Grrr… very frustrating. Any tips? Advice?

I know I could opt for an electric mower, but I’d rather not dispose of the manual one I just bought. I want to be happy with my quiet, natural, zero-carbon machine. Though I suppose if I wanted to go really natural, I’d get myself some sheep.

Getting Buggy

2009-05-12T13:55:00.011-04:00

So, it’s bug season. And we’re being visited by ants. I have been finding them since last week, in the living room, kitchen and hallway. They travel alone. Sofie has been eager to point them out: “Mommy, look! A bug!” and won’t go near the area until I have intervened. * Sigh * I am already nostalgic for the days when she squatted down to get a closer look and offered greetings to all creepy crawly creatures

However, bugs in the house do have a certain “ick” factor. So now my quest is to find green ways to eliminate them. I refuse to use Raid or other pesticides on our property.

Internet research mentions everything from pipe tobacco to borax to vinegar to cornmeal for ant disposal methods. (My favorite — if you have large ant hills — was pitting the ants against each other. Apparently, ant colonies do not intermingle!) I started with the borax method, sprinkling it outside along the house perimeter, where I found several ants hiding under dry leaves. Of course, afterwards I read that borax may not be harmless to kids in such quantities (Argh!).

So I plan to try used coffee grounds next. The acidity supposedly kills the ants AND fertilizes your lawn! Or I may plant mint leaves, which can deter the bug and also make a tasty mojito.

My searches for an ant trail or entryway inside the house have led nowhere. I only see the lone, random ant crisscrossing our floors. (I am beginning to suspect they are scouts and that the under-the-sink kitchen trashcan may be a target.) I want to try some of the suggested natural ingredients: cinnamon, lemon juice, cucumbers. And I am particularly intrigued by the chalk method. You draw a line of chalk and, supposedly, ants will not cross it. I think Sofie might have fun testing this with me. Who knew bug control could become a fun family project?

On the other hand, you do not want to kill all your ants. Ants are our friends. They actually help control other pests by eating the eggs and larvae of fleas, flies, spiders and bed bugs. Outside, ants patrol the perimeters of our houses and keep termites, their mortal enemies, from establishing colonies in our homes. I’d rather have ants than termites any day.

21 Ways to Get Rid of Ants Naturally
Natural Pesticides for Other Bugs
More Natural Pesticides for Other Bugs
How Pesticides Affect our Water Quality

Out and About in Nature

2009-05-04T10:24:00.009-04:00

It was get-back-to-nature weekend at the DeForbes house. Saturday, we participated in the Edgewood Cove cleanup where Phase II of the salt marsh restoration is underway.

Sofie anticipated the event eagerly, launching into a hearty version of the “Clean Up” song in the car. She donned her Dora gloves to pick up trash along the shoreline, but quickly became much more interested in tossing shells and stones into the Bay. Ah, well. However, I was impressed with the proportion of families who came — parents with kids of all ages in tow. Nothing like putting those green leanings into action.

Then yesterday we joined in a local May Day celebration, complete with Maypole dancing. I never knew such a thing existed in Rhode Island. But indeed, in the drizzle, on a farm in Tiverton, we gathered among the chickens and peacocks (and two baby goats born just that morning!)

Our walk in from the parking area past rows of hybrid vehicles, Obama support stickers and folks toting African drums set the tone of the event. And while Sofie clung to my leg at first, by the end she was chasing the chickens.

May Day has a long and varied history as a “working class holiday” that, depending on what country you’re in, might include costumed revelry, fertility dances or political protests. Yesterday’s celebration had a bit of each. We clapped for the felling of the maypole tree, feasted with friends and watched grownups dressed as money-hungry rats perform a play in the barn. My favorite part? The Maypole dance. Steeped in fertility symbolism, the dance was really just a fun, get-to-know-your-neighbor activity. Not a bad low-cardio workout either.

All in all, it was the most festive May Day I’ve ever experienced. And Sofie’s acclimation to the rain and dirt made us think that she’s ready to try camping.

Find a Cleanup in your Community

Weekday Update

2009-05-01T14:40:00.006-04:00

I've been taking actions based on my last two blog entries. One has involved phasing out phthalate-laden plastic items that Sofie often has in her mouth. Tossed the old binkies and teethers, which she hardly ever uses anyway (though i shudder to think about how many chemicals she sucked off those things as a baby). Got rid of plastic utensils and old sippy cups. And have recently bought stainless steel utensils plus two BPA and phthalate-free cups that put my mind at ease.

In other news... during the week of April 20, we had no trash to put out! It was a week with no remodeling or cleaning, and our "normal" trash amounted to not quite two 13-gallon bags. Not nearly enough to fill the can. Even our recycling container (which goes out every other week) was just half full. Hooray for making strides in trash-reduction!

And tomorrow I'm taking Sofie to the Edgewood Cove cleanup at 10:00 am. Hope to see you there.

Toxic Toys

2009-04-22T09:07:00.002-04:00

PHTHALATES: n. a group of industrial chemicals mainly used as plasticizers (substances added to plastics to increase their flexibility and resilience).

While phthalates have been lurking in everything from our shampoo and detergents to food packaging and that new car smell for decades, they have come under fire more recently as their use has become more widespread/pervasive. Last year, U.S. Congress banned 6 phthalates from being used in toys and cosmetics, and major retailers like Wal-Mart, Toys-R-Us and Gerber have committed to phasing out phthalate-laden toys.

What’s the big deal?

According to one case study, “Phthalates cause a wide range of adverse health problems including liver, kidney and lung damage as well as reproductive system and sexual developmental abnormalities.” Some phthalates — such as diethylhexyl phthalate (DEHP), the most widely used plasticizer — have even been classified as a ‘probable human carcinogen’ by the EPA.

While there are many types of phthalates found in various forms, it seems that the riskiest exposures include intravenous medical equipment, cosmetics (transmitted to fetuses from pregnant women) and soft plastic toys. Just what a mother wants to hear.

I can recall too easily Sofie’s perpetual chewing on various plastic teethers, no doubt teeming with those nasty carcinogens. And while I thought I was being so green by acquiring most of her toys from yard sales and hand-me-downs, who knows what toxins they contain?

I suppose I can kill myself with worry over the possibility of having already damaged my daughter’s internal organs. Or I can take a proactive stance from this point forward. While it’s just not reasonable for me to toss every piece of plastic we own, I can look into replacing those plastics that tend to be absorbed into the body (lotions, shampoos and eating utensils, to start.)

It certainly helps that Sofie is past the “putting everything into her mouth” stage. However, I did recently buy my first phthalate-free toy for her (at left).

Seeking to avoid these chemicals is quite the challenge, since the word “phthalate” is often not used on product labels. Instead, you must learn what chemical abbreviations to search for.

Frustrating, I know. But here’s something easy you can do. Ask your legislators to ensure that all baby products are safe.

Buying Guide for Safe Products
Less Toxic Product Choices
More on Phthalates

The Rules of Trash

2009-04-14T13:59:00.001-04:00

It’s amazing how apartment living makes you take certain things for granted. Like trash. We were used to large dumpsters (and small recycle bins) for quick and easy disposal. Or property managers who maintained the trash barrel collection and all its requirements. In Champaign, Illinois, there was no curbside recycling. In Providence, neighborhood streets on trash day often resemble an obstacle course of everything, including the kitchen sink. And it all gets taken away.

In Warwick, things are different.

Along with the house, we inherited three 35-gallon wheeled carts: a gray one for trash, a green one for paper/cardboard and a blue one for bottles and cans. On trash day, these containers line the streets of Warwick, all facing out in an orderly manner. This seemed great … until we actually started using them.

35 gallons may sound big, but it only fits about 2-3 trash bags. Which doesn’t include the cache of grimy vertical blinds, the old carpet, the lawn chairs, boogie boards, rusty tools, miscellaneous pipes and plastic Budweiser mug collection. And that’s just the trash left behind from the previous owner. It doesn’t take into consideration the remains from our own cosmetic remodeling.

Then we noticed that all our neighbors had bigger trashcans, some even had two! (Apparently, we were recipients of the limited-number smaller containers reserved for the elderly.) We called the City of Warwick, requesting a large 95-gallon trashcan, but alas, due to budget constraints, they no longer offer any. Furthermore, they will not pick up any carts facing the wrong way or any trash outside of those allotted containers unless you’ve called in advance with a detailed list of extra items (not to exceed 3); green and blue recycling pick-up alternates every other week — be sure to keep track — and will not be picked up if the container is stuffed full (i.e.: will not empty easily by robotic arm) … are you getting all this?

Warwick moved to automated recycling in 2003 to improve efficiency, reduce costs and employee injury, and improve curbside cleanliness. When I finally went to their Website to sort through all the rules, I came away pleasantly surprised and well informed. They really put thought into this. And it’s all in an effort to be greener. Once you learn the rules (and the reasons behind them), it makes sense. And I feel less rankled.

Mike was recently venting about our trash woes to a neighbor, who generously offered to switch cans. “We’re trying to reduce our trash volume anyway,” she said.

This, of course, tripped the eco-guilt switch in me.

I don’t want to be whining about trash. (Though it is hard when I want to start with a clean slate in our new home.) Replacing “quick disposal” with “creative recycling” requires a mind shift. Gather the old paint cans, cleaning products and make an appointment to drop them off at the Eco-Depot. Try to sell or give away old building materials on craigslist. Ask around to see if our junk could become someone else’s treasure. It’s time-consuming, yes. But more and more necessary.

A friend recently informed me that Rhode Island’s Johnston landfill will reach capacity in just a few years! What then? Send our garbage to another country as Naples, Italy had to do?

My short-term goal is to get our 35-gallon trashcan back. Borrow the neighbor’s 95-gallon one while we’re cleaning out and settling in. But once we’re back to “normal” living, it’s gotta go. Bigger is not better in this instance. My long-term goal is to recycle and compost everything (is that possible?).

Barring that, reduce our waste to one small trashcan a month. I can picture this as a family challenge that Sofie would love to be involved in. She’s already learning to put some things in the kitchen trashcan and other things in the recycle bin (it’s not always the correct thing, but at least she’s getting that there is a difference.) And she hears the word “recycle” a lot in our house.

Crafts turning trash into treasure
Kids talk trash